Warning: There are no Rylan pics in this post, and it might get personal

Like I said, this will be personal.

I was sure I was pregnant last month. 99% sure, actually. I had messed up my BCP, and on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, my BBs were swollen and extremely tender. I could just feel it. I ended up swiping a test from a relative. It was mostly negative, but there was the thinnest, slightest, use-a-magnifying-glass, squint-with-one-eye-and-the-other-closed line. It was there. I'm not crazy and I'm definitely not teasing myself. I was so sure that I would have a very sweet new year surprise...

That was not the case. I'm actually thinking "auto-delete". This AF has been very painful and heavy.

In any case, my BCPs cause high cholesterol, which I found out a couple months ago that I have and need to deal with. I have decided not to take them while I try to get my cholesterol down. I have a recheck in March, so we'll see then. I am not actively ttc. Hell, I don't have the time for such events. I do however, have a glimpse of hope thriving through me.

As I said in my last post, I think I'm ready. But, I'm really just enjoying Rylan's mommy and watching him grow into a great little guy.

I feel a little better getting that out. Thanks for listening!