It's here.
It's time.
I'm in.
I'm game.
I'm ready...... I think.
Joe's mostly there.
Rylan's not at all.
I don't want to talk about it, but at the same time that's all I can do. We don't have the space in our house. We'd have to buy a bigger vehicle. What would I do about work? Why in the hell did I get rid of all of Ry's stuff???? Can it even be done? It's like I'm living in some fairy tale world where it'll "just happen". Am I being stingy?
I am afraid that Rylan will think that we felt he wasn't enough. But, truthfully he is SO INSANELY OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD AMAZING that I want to do it again.
I'm terrified at the thought that he will be all alone if something were (or when it is) happen to Joe and I. I want him to have someone to lean on.
But every time I think of trying, I feel like I'm letting Rylan down. If my intentions are so good and innocent, why do I feel so bad?
So much to think about.
3 comments:
We're wrestling with the same exact things right now! Wishing you the best.
I think it's perfectly sensible to have those concerns. I did. Best of luck. May it be quick and easy this time :)
You are not being stingy! All of the things you are thinking about right now are the same things I thought about and I can tell you once it happens you will forget about it all and it just falls into place. I don't know how it happens but it really just does.
We have a very small house also and it works. We might be crowded but it works because we make it work. I have a TON of stuff so don't think you got rid of everything because everything I have can be given right to you ;-)
HUGS! And the more worrying you do and the more pressure you put on your self will just make you go insane. You don't think you can share your time or love another like you love your first, but you really can and you don't have to think about it at all because being a parent means you are magical and can do anything!
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